“What an interesting experiment.”

Welcome back to Betty’s dinner party. You better be enjoying yourself! For the main course, we’re having rosemary seitan “leg of lamb” with mint jelly, and German egg noodles (Spätzle) like Grandma Hofstadt used to make. There is French Burgundy wine and Heineken to drink. And the napkins match the dress Betty will wear for 36+ hours!

betty-draper-party

Around the World Menu

Mixed Drinks

Gazpacho (Spain)
Rumaki (Japan)

Leg of Lamb with Mint Jelly (Dutchess County)
Spätzle (Germany)

Burgundy (France)
Heineken (Holland)

mad-men-betty

Leg of Lamb with Mint Jelly

Serves 5-6

Ingredients

2 cups gluten flour
2 tablespoons cornmeal
2 tablespoons dried rosemary
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
⅓ cup olive oil
¾ cup red wine
1 tablespoon soy sauce
¼ cup lemon juice
6 cloves garlic, grated

Mint jelly

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 325°F, about 10 times warmer than your disposition.
  2. Combine gluten flour, cornmeal, dried rosemary, salt, and black pepper in a mixing bowl or stand mixer equipped with a dough hook. Fantasize about taking that dough hook to Don’s jugular.
  3. Combine olive oil, red wine, soy sauce, lemon juice, and garlic in a separate bowl. Take a break and finish that bottle of wine.
  4. Pour the liquids into the dry ingredients and mix until a dough forms. Knead until it’s as flexible as Don’s morals.
  5. Coat the dough with olive oil and wrap in foil. Bake at least 1 hour, or until firm. Unwrap for the last 15 minutes of baking.
  6. Brush with mint jelly and bake for 10-12 more minutes.
  7. Slice and serve with more mint jelly.
Photo credit: AMC

Photo credit: AMC

While Mad Men doesn’t specify what kind of egg noodles Betty serves, Spätzle fits the bill as a German noodle dish. You could probably use the Vegg or a different egg replacer in the dough, but soy flour was what I had on hand. I served the noodles with caramelized onions, pan-frying the noodles with the onions for a few minutes before plating.

Spätzle

Serves 5

Ingredients

4 cups flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup soy flour
3 tablespoons oil
1 1/2-2 cups water, as needed

Instructions

  1. Pour flour in a mixing bowl and stir in the salt. Ruminate on your invisibility and powerlessness, much like the salt.
  2. Combine soy flour and oil in a separate bowl and stir until combined. The mixture will be as thick and sludgy as your personality.
  3. Add soy flour and oil mixture, as well as 1 1/2 cups water, to the flour. Mix until a bread-like dough forms, adding more water if necessary.
  4. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Take small pieces of dough and roll into noodles, kind of the size and shape of wax beans.
  5. Boil 12-14 noodles at a time and remove when they rise to the top of the water. Transfer cooked noodles to a bowl of cold water.
  6. Repeat until all the dough is used. Store noodles in an (unlike Don’s excuses) airtight container with water until ready to use.

mad-men-party

The evening turns sour when Betty unknowingly participates in Don’s market research. Heineken is a Sterling Cooper client and Don insists the target demographic for the beer is a Bryn Mawr alumna turned passive-aggressive housewife with a penchant for exoticism (or something like that). This embarrasses Betty when she walks right into the joke by purchasing the beer. Of course, the problem is not the Heineken incident, but Don’s adulterous adultery. Poor Betty.

Photo credit: AMC

Photo credit: AMC

“No one’s ever on your side, Betty.”

Brace yourselves, dear readers, for a double dose of Betty Draper. She may be a Mad Men woman scorned, but “victim of circumstance” and “dramatic, manipulative, and vindictive child” are not mutually exclusive titles. Put on your crazypants and join me for a modern interpretation of Betty’s “Around the World” dinner party from the season two episode, ‘A Night to Remember.’

mad-men-betty-party

Around the World Menu

Mixed Drinks

Gazpacho (Spain)
Rumaki (Japan)

Leg of Lamb with Mint Jelly (Dutchess County)
Spätzle (Germany)

Burgundy (France)
Heineken (Holland)

Photo credit: AMC

Photo credit: AMC

Pour yourself a drink and tuck in to the first course, Gazpacho and Rumaki. Like now, because Betty’s got a gun.

Gazpacho

Serves 4-5

Ingredients

2 cups tomatoes
1 green pepper
1/2 red onion
1 cucumber
2 cloves garlic
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/3 cup red wine
1/3 cup fresh basil
Salt and pepper
Chives

Instructions

  1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender while instructing Bobby to bang his head against the wall.
  2. Blend until smoother than your serial cheater hubster.
  3. Adjust flavors to your liking, then attempt to do the same with the people around you.
  4. Serve garnished with chives and vegetable slices. Make way to fainting couch.

Variation: For roasted garlic gazpacho, replace the cloves of garlic with 1/2 head roasted garlic.

Photo credit: AMC

Photo credit: AMC

Have you ever made rumaki? I thought it would be a type of sushi or some cute little appetizer, but it turns out it’s bacon-wrapped chicken liver and water chestnuts. What the fresh hell, Bets? If I wasn’t making multiple courses, perhaps I would have tried veganizing chicken liver. But in a pinch, Upton’s Naturals bacon-wrapped Gardein chicken tenders did the trick.

vegan-gazpacho

Eat up, then come back tomorrow for the main course!