Upon learning that avocado toast is the primary reason millennials are not homeowners, I knew some self reflection was in order. I, a person who was born smack in the middle of the birth year range that classifies millennials, am an avid consumer of avocado slices on toasted bread. I also rent my apartment without any concrete near future plans for homeownership. Hold on tight to your cold brew, kids, because the correlation is strong.
Make an Avocado Toast House, or How to Beat the System
Despite all of the overwhelming evidence, the self-reflection period was short. Instead of playing the victim, when I want something, I go out and do something about it. Take that, nearly-obsolete publications clinging to op-eds about millennial narcissism.
I’m not much for either/or choices, so I decided that I will have my avocado toast, and a house, and maybe even eat it too. Hell, I’ll take two slices because the entitlement runs deep. You shouldn’t have to make choices either, so I will show you how you can get the best of both worlds without giving up avocado toast.
Get the recipe:
Hell, I’ll take two slices because the entitlement runs deep.
- 2 slices bread
- 1/2 an avocado
- Cut your bread slices into house shapes.
- Toast for 1-2 minutes and eat your bread scraps while you wait.
- Meanwhile cut your avocado into thin slices, and try not to cut your hand because apparently that's a thing.
- Neatly arrange your avocado slices on the toasted bread. Enjoy this creative outlet because you'll probably never look at hardwood floor samples, or paint colors because your landlord will only let you have stark white walls.
- Add a dash of salt, pepper, herbs, hot sauce, or your favorite toppings.
Is avocado toast cost prohibitive?
My avocado cost $1, and the loaf of bread was $2.49. Since there were 20 slices of bread in the loaf, it comes out to $0.1245 per slice. Let’s round it up to $0.13 per slice to account for Chicago’s 800% sales tax. So if this meal used 2 slices of bread and half the avocado, each avocado toast house cost $0.38. Fine, $0.40 because I dressed it up with salt, pepper, dried herbs, and hot sauce.
I get it now. My <$1 meal is the reason our age group is sending rent checks (or more realistically, paying online because what is this, 2007?) rather than mortgage payments. Because, spoiler alert: I was still hungry after eating my avocado toast house. Those pieces of bread were tiny. Back to the drawing board…